#2-3 Why do we love?

Here I am catching up on my posts! During these two days, showing love was more difficult than I had imagined. It's not easy to show love when you are tired, hungry, grumpy or stressed. I was feeling all four of these emotions while traveling from Teman Negara to KL, then to Meleka in one day, then from Meleka to KL the next. Buses were late, my flight delayed- I was growing impatient and grouchy! While waiting for the bus for 30 minutes, my mind was clouded with so many negative and critical thoughts.

I was reminded of Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining or arguing." I had this verse on the top right corner of my bulletin board in my classroom and I had my kids memorize it on the first day of school. Whenever somebody complains loudly, I don't say anything back...instead I just point to the verse and smile as a friendly reminder. It's funny watching kids silently direct each other to the verse. This time, I felt God "pointing" to the verse, showing me that I needed to "walk the talk."

So when I finally get on the plane, I felt somebody behind me kicking my chair. I thought it was a child, but it was actually a plus size, tall man, who really needed his leg space.
There was a lady sitting next to me who had no sense of personal space. She was either unaware or didn't care that she kept shoving me in the arm while going through her purse. She then decided that it would be a good idea to take off her sandals and put her bare feet on the seat. At that point, I prayed "Dear God, I really need patience." The lady had to fill out her HK arrival card and she asked me for a pen. I had a pen in my backpack and I really didn't feel like digging it out. I hesitated for a bit. I wasn't feeling loving at all and I was tempted to just say "no" and save myself the hassle. I gave her my pen and she returned it with a polite thankyou.

I think God is challenging me to humble myself.. put away my pride and self-ambition.
I hate to admit this, but I have naively thought to myself, " Why should I keep loving those who show no appreciation or don't show any love back? It's so exhausting!"
That's evidence for my selfish motives and that "me, me, me"-obsessed mentality.
Love is not self-seeking. When you are tuly loving someone, you give freely with no strings attached. There's no calculating what the other person owes you or what you deserve, because love is about serving other people and their needs, not your own.

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19.